‘Real Housewives of Miami’ Review: Officially Bravo’s Best Housewives

The first season of Real Housewives of New York City reboot is finally behind us. And I can safely say that I never need to see women cry that much on a Housewives show—and especially at a reunion. This isn’t to disregard any of the cast members’ hardships or tough upbringings. We all have our own trauma, including Erin for having to babysit her younger siblings. However, the producers clearly thought they could make us connect with this random ensemble of women by sympathizing with them. And while I did feel genuine compassion for some of them, I mostly just sat at my computer screen waiting to laugh.

That said, I can’t think of a better antidote to RHONY’s problems than the current season of Real Housewives of Miami, which made the move from Bravo to Peacock and back to Bravo in its sixth season.

For those who enjoyed the reboot’s cinematography, you’ll be glad to know that RHOM is just as vibrant and dreamy on cable. No one has downsized their lavish living, minus Lisa Hochstein, who’s in the throes of a divorce from her demonic ex-husband, Lenny. Nor has anyone modified their wacky, delusional behavior, thankfully. In this supersized premiere, Julia Lemigova puts diapers on a goat, Adriana de Moura brings a literal white flag to a lunch, and Alexia Nepola says, with a serious face, that she’s the perfect person to bring the girls back together after last season’s drama. I love comedy!

First, let’s break down where everyone stands with each other after last season’s memorable reunion—which ended with Andy Cohen reading a letter (written by Adriana) from the perspective of Marysol Patton’s liver, in case you forgot. Alexia’s ready to move on from her beef with Adriana after that icky comment she made about her son Frankie’s car accident. But her partner-in-crime Marysol is still pissed at Adriana for saying that her ex-boyfriend never loved her. Meanwhile, Julia and Alexia are shockingly becoming close.

Guerdy Abraira’s mad at Larsa Pippen for speaking negatively about her in confessionals last season. But Larsa’s more upset that Guerdy responded by calling her fake during a Page Six live event. And Larsa and Dr. Nicole Martin are still keeping their distance after Larsa said she slept with every doctor at the hospital she works at last season.

So Alexia plans a Nuevos Horizontes party to get everyone back on the right foot. But like most Housewives events about moving forward, these women end up creating an entire new set of issues by the end of the night. At the same time, Alexia’s dealing with some discord in her marriage to Todd—ironically over his attempts to turn a new leaf.

After Todd disparaged Nicole’s fiancé’s Anthony’s law firm during last season’s hilarious “gringo dinner,” he apparently posted a 9-minute apology to him on Instagram. Alexia is uncomfortable that her husband apologized in such a public and corny way. And Todd is seemingly embarrassed that his long-winded mea culpa has become a joke amongst the group. So he skips the party, causing Alexia to violently sob in her makeup chair.

Amid this funny melodrama, we’re introduced to what will be an undoubtedly devastating storyline. Back in May, Guerdy announced on Instagram that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. In the premiere, she confides with Nicole about her upcoming biopsy. And at the Nuevos Horizontes party, she pulls Larsa to the side to tell that she’s “going to need her” soon.

It’s a tough thing to watch play out in real time—and not just because viewers love Guerdy. Her experience is another reminder that this awful disease doesn’t discriminate no matter how fabulous your life is or how healthy you think you are. Knowing this genuinely tight group of friends, though, they’ll show up Guerdy just like they showed up for Julia after her wife Martina Nartilova was diagnosed with throat and breast cancer in January.

Even with this underlying note of tragedy, this RHOM premiere is still the most fun Bravo viewers might have on Wednesday night this fall. (Beverly Hills, keep up!) This reboot perfectly combines all the classic elements of a Real Housewives show with Bravo’s newfound values around diversity. It’s a balance newer shows have struggled to find, but RHOM is at least offering a blueprint.

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